"Captain America" Review

So, I was out camping in central California last week (hence no review) and I was with a friend who, instead of saying "awkward" said "awk." That pretty much sums up "Captain America: the First Avenger": awk. She also said "sups" (pronounces "soops") in lieu of "super." So I suppose that would be "sups awk." Now, it's not awkward in a "seeing-Watchmen-flanked-by-both-of-your-parents" awkward, but a "nothing-about-this-movie-really-works" awkward. 

That's why this time there are three different categories than normal. Awesome, Bad, and Meh. Trust me. I can only think of  three "Awesome" and two "Good" and a lot of "Meh" and some "Bad" so I'm lumping "Good" and "Awesome" together this time. 

Awesome (Tommy Lee Jones, Stanley Tucci, Howard Stark, Production Design, Technical Stuffs), Bad (Red Skull, Character Development, Extra Characters, Writing, Director), Meh (Chris Evans, Montages, Lighting, Story Construction, Romance).

I'll be as brief as I can so as not to prolong this. 

Awesome:

I love Tommy Lee Jones. I mean, what isn't to love about him? Great actor? Nope, but I love him anyway. he was perfectly short, sarcastic, and sharp in this role. He looks the part too. Great job with the casting here. Absolutely perfect. 

Stanley Tucci: love him too. He was, admittedly, the best character in the movie; most honest, best written, best acted, and possibly most likable as well. His accent was great too. I loved him. Another great casting job.

Stark. Ah, Stark. Aside from the fact that I was already looking forward to him because of who his son is, he was actually fun. He was light, entertaining, and clever, I felt. My only complaint is that Dominic Cooper broke the accent a few times. Just a tad. Sad part is that I wasn't looking for it. Whatever though. He was a great addition and highlight of the movie. 

Now to the production design. My only complaint is that the tech looked a bit too modern and futuristic. That aside, I felt like they nailed the time period. Costumes were good, sets were good, props were good--loved it. Great job, guys.

Okay, let's start off with what didn't work. ("Wait, I thought this was "Awesome?" Hold yer horses!) One: I heard some ARDing (look it up, but basically, it's when you re-record a line in a studio because something didn't work on set). Two: I could tell it was a green screen with the bomber chase. Yep. Those miffed me. However, Chris Evans head on the skinny body: EXCELLENT. Like, brilliant. Fantastic job, guys. Seriously. 

Bad:

How to put this delicately. A movie is only as good as its villain mostly because a hero is only as good as his villain. The villain has to be who the character could be and while they told us that Captain America could have been the Red Skull, they never showed us that. Remember that back in English class? "Show, don't tell." Lots of telling, but no showing. I'll get to the details of that soon though and fully explain what I mean. That aside, Red Skull was disappointing. Now, I love Hugo Weaving. "Hello, Mr. Anderson." I mean, come on! Great, right? Yes! No! Not this time. He was terrible. No, strike that--what was given to him was terrible. (I'll get to the writing and directing later.) His speeches were forced in placement and context, the whole "oooh, look, I have a red skull--bwahahaha" scene was flat. They didn't play him up enough. They didn't develop him. I didn't get to know him, his back story, his motivations, nothing. Yes, yes, they mentioned it, but--that's it. Nothing more than a mere mention. Red Skull was a very disappointing part of the movie. It's actually annoying--very, very annoying. 

Let's talk character development. Well there was...no. Ooh, but what about...oh, no. Not there either. OH! But what about--no, no. Wait. No! The girl! Yeah! Peggy! She, almost sort of arced. Right? She went from being mildly interested, to very interested, to angry, to in love...but why? I dunno. Wasn't explained. 

That's the character development. It simply was not there really. The only times they came close were when Steve Rogers couldn't get drunk and Peggy. Only times really, which is really bloody annoying. I mean, that's why Red Skull didn't work, why Steve didn't work, why I wasn't totally broken up about Bucky Barnes death, why Dum Dum Dugan and all the other miscellaneous character didn't work--no one really arced and it's a cryin' shame because they set up Rogers to arc. Twice. The first one I thought of and the second one goes to my buddy for thinking of. The first way they could have arced was to flirt with what Red Skull was dealing with: power. Tucci's character warned him about it and Red Skull made reference to it both times he and Cap met up. Apparently though, if Cap were to flirt with that, he would cease to be all that is Captain America. Whatever. Go talk to Chris Nolan about the original Batman. The second way though they also set up. When Cap first meets Tucci's character, he says he doesn't want to kill anyone, but that he doesn't like bullies. He easily could have and should have had to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, you have to kill the bad guy. Easy, simple--set up. But NO. No real character development at all. Nada. So disappointing. 

That brings me to my next point: characters. No, no the main few, but those extra ones who were supposed to be sort of important and funny, but who's names you never caught, except perhaps Dum Dum Dugan, but even then, you had to either be familiar with the story line, or be very, VERY attentive. They never explained any of the other characters really and I was bothered that there were suddenly these people who I was supposed to care about...but didn't. 

So, let me really nail the problem. Well, a problem. The writers. Now, I'm usually, not this forward about my feeling, but smack them. Both of them. The writing was terrible. I mean, awful. Most movies I walk out of and I have a sense of who the characters are. At least the main character, anyway. Not so with this one. I never knew who Steve Rogers was. Even his speech patterns didn't work. His use to language (foul) didn't work with who he was before as a little guy. He didn't make sense as a character. That, like the rest of the film, is the writers fault. Okay, and the story guys' and the director's, but the writers dropped the ball. I'll continue with this in other places.

Now to the director. Oooh. See, this really makes me mad. This guy directed "October Sky," "Jumanji"-- he helped with Star Wars IV, V, and VI, "Raiders of the Lost Arc," "Temple of Doom" for goodness sake! Joe Johnston! What are you doing, mate? He's done some quality work, but as I look over his Wiki page I see he did "The Wolfman" and "Jurassic Park III." Oooh. Now, I can't speak to "Wolfman," but even "Jurassic Park III" wasn't this bad. He did a terrible job on this movie. He did not do Cap justice at all. his vision...was rubbish, honestly. Well, no. That's not true. His vision was great. It's his execution that was rubbish. 

Meh: 

I'd like to say that this movie isn't Chris Evans' fault. Maybe I'm biased towards him because I like him, but I don't blame him for how bad this was. he wasn't given anything to work with. At all. Poor, kid. Hopefully the next set will be better.

Montages. Not working so well. They were awkwardly placed and were rushed. 

The lighting. Now, have you even seen a show on the BBC or BBCA? Or even an Australian show? Notice how it looks different? How something about the picture quality is off? I've been told that it's the lighting and I noticed that same sort of cheap feel at times in the movie. Not cool, guys. Not cool at all. 

Story Construction, then? "Sups awk," mate. It...didn't work. It just didn't arc right. At all. Some stuff happened too fast, some stuff to slow. It was thoroughly awkward.

Ah, l'amoure. Love. Romance. Tres magnifique, oui? NEIN. (That's German for "NO." See what I did there? Germans, once more stopping the French. Okay, so who couldn't stop the French? Heh heh. Just kidding. France is beautiful. Great bike tour too. Vive le France!) I hate to say it, but I think that George Lucas did a better job with Anakin and Padme than this movie did with Steve and Peggy. At least Lucas made an effort, albeit and really, really, REALLY, REALLY terrible one, to show some sort of progression. I didn't get any of that in this one. Nothing. Don't get me wrong, I loved the bit where the two are talking about dancing at the end. Very cute, but they never developed the romance. Meh. 

Basically, a massive let down. I actually texted my buddy mid way through and told him that he was right--the movie didn't work. Oh, right. Disclaimer: I went into this movie knowing about it, having heard that it both didn't work and that it was the best superhero movie since the new X-Men, which was supposedly quite good. (Yeah, yeah, haven't been in the mood.) Even so, I went into this movie, WANTING it to work, wanting it to be awesome and...it wasn't. Unhappiness is watching Chris Evans and other good actors fail in what should have been a great movie. I could continue with all of the problems, but I'll stop and sleep. 

My final word? WAIT. Wait till the discount theater, guys. Seriously. Not that good. 

...

BUT WAIT! What's this? At the end? An "Avengers" trailer?! OH YES! Am I looking forward to this? More than you know. See, one of the only great things about this movie was Stark. I am SO looking forward to how Tony and Cap get along, or rather don't. And then there's Thor. Oh, he'll be great. And Loki? Amazing, as usual. (Okay, okay, so his character had issues like you can't imagine, but I liked him despite them.) Hawkeye (who made an appearance in "Thor," which, now that I've figured out who he is, then makes more sense why he grabbed the bow and arrow and not the gun--heh)? Sweet. Hulk? Mmm...Mark Ruffalo--dunno yet. Then you have Scarlett Johansson, who I dislike a lot, who should be good. And of course Jackson will be in it--yeah Nick Fury! (Even though he's not supposed to be black, but I like Jackson enough to forget about all the PC going on there--Jackson is great.) This movie should be AMAZING. Only apprehensions are Ruffalo. I was apprehensive about Joss Whedon, the director, because of the cult status he has, but then I look at his credits and nominations and awards and I think, "He'll be fine." The producer has done a bunch of the major superhero movies, the cinematographer seems well qualified (he did "Sahara," and, more importantly, "Atonement"), and the editors seem good. If this movie tanks (which is shouldn't with it's cast, director, and crew) I will be fantastically angry. That being said, "I guess that's worth a look."

"Harry Potter 7 Part 2" Review

My own words are tasty.  Very tasty. For that matter, so is that foot in my mouth. Nom nom nom.

Now, for those who don't know that I'm not a cannibal or not actually certifiable, let me explain my previous statement: I was sure - 100% bloody sure - that HP 7.2 was going to be a not to great movie. 100%. The first one wasn't bad, and I was expecting the same sort of "meh" factor for this one. Plus, I'm remembering the book and how bad and cliche' it was, Voldemort and how bad of a villain - no, he is a baddie, the book version doesn't even get that title after how badly (not in the evil way) he was done - he was, how annoyingly Heathcliff Snape was/is, and that whole stupid King's Cross scene. So I am really not expecting much except for some greatness from Molly Weasley. But when the movie ended, I said nothing. Another things to know about me: the moment a movie, ANY movie, is over I launch, both mouth and mind, into critic mode. No film is safe, and yet as the credits scrolled down the screen, I sat silently as the theater chatted around me and cried. Yes, I cried. I cried multiple times. It was great. It was the end of a phenomenon. A long awaited end.

So, good, bad, awesome? Yes, I think so. Oh, and a new category: meh.

Good (Voldmort, lighting, Molly Weasley):

As stated earlier, I really disliked Voldemort in book 7. JK Rowling set him up to be, easily, one of the greatest villains of all time in all mediums. Seriously. I would have placed him up there with Heath Ledger's Joker, Doctor Doom from the Fantastic Four comics--he was epic; and then we get to book 7. He becomes paranoid, nuts, and bizarre. Not villainous at all. Honestly. But in the movie, David Yeats actually made him better than he was in the books. He wasn't insane or ridiculous or anything except when he killed Harry (by the way, that line should have been whispered, NOT shouted), and I was very, very happy and how human he became as the horcruxes were destroyed. In previous movies, Ralph Finnes played him as this inhuman demon, but as parts of his soul kept getting killed off, something in his face, in his eyes became more human. Props to Finnes who, until this point, I thought was the weakest part in the films. So, Voldemort was redeemed for me in this movie.

Somehow, movie 6 got nominated for an Oscar for it's cinematography. I always wondered how because you couldn't bloody see the cinematography because of how bad the lighting was. Not so in this film. The lighting was mostly perfect. One scene was off and that was Harry's death, aside from that, I liked it. Even the ghost of Helena Ravenclaw was done nicely. Good job lighting guys!

Molly Weasley. I know what you're thinking, "Why isn't she in the 'Awesome' category?" Well, I'm wondering why too. Why wasn't that moment with Bellatrix given more time? Honestly, cut some from the beginning or the ending or King's Cross, but NOT from this moment! Goodness. Aside from the fact was it wasn't done justice, it was still wonderful. Ah, Molly, how we love you.

Meh (Ginny, Fred, Snake):

Ginny was, as usual, meh. I mean, so much meh. Does anyone really care about her in the movies? No. Not really. She not a great actress and you don't get to know her well enough to really connect with her. So, Ginny Weasley, I say "Meh!" to you!

Don't kill me. I like Fred, I cried when they got to the scene when they showed his body, but this gets a "meh" because it wasn't done right. Yeats could have played this up SO much more. He tugged at the heartstrings in the movie with this scene when he should have played them like a harp.

Nagini was not bad. When she kills Snape, she's great, but her death scene...meh. I mean, Hermione throws a rock at him? Really? And then Nevill just...what? No. No, no, no, no. Not cool enough. (Oh, small related aside: when did Voldemort get the powers of the Imhotep from "The Mummy"?)

Bad (ending, pacing, sword of Gryffindor, Lupin and Tonks):

I start with the pacing because the problem with the pacing started at the beginning of the movie. It was slow. I understand that they were picking up from where the last movie ended and that they probably wanted it to feel like the audience just got back from an extended intermission and they succeeded at that much to the film's detriment. Yes, I understand that it's a part one and part two, but the opening felt...belabored. Too much talking, moreover, too much rather pointless talking that I didn't care about. Too many dramatic pauses. I didn't like it. Everything up to Gringott's (and even arguably part of Gringott's) got too much time. They could have used it at other places. Like with Fred's death. Or Lupin's. Or the Last Battle. None of those moments got their due. Helena Ravenclaw got too much time too.

Speaking of stuff done wrong, the ending was...anticlimactic. It was not so good. Voldemort just dissipating was lame. And the battle was not surrounded by people, there was no talking, no nothing. It didn't work. It just wasn't as big, impactful, dramatic, epic--it was too simple. It did not do justice to the characters nor the situation. I mean, I wasn't a fan of the last book for a number of reasons, but I liked the movie more than the book and was, as a movie goer, disappointed in the last battle. Visually, I wasn't happy.

Alright, the sword of Gryffindor. Minor point, but they didn't explain how Nevill got it or how it left Griphook's possession or anything. Ball, dropped.

Now, I love Lupin. I dressed up as Tonks for HP premiers. TWICE. And so I am annoyed at how they did not do their death's justice. Honestly. At all. NO justice. You see them sort of not hold hands in one shot and then you see their bodies next to each other...what? No. No, no, no. You can't do that to James's friend, no sir.

That being said, they also failed with Bellatrix's death. Just saying. Not big enough. not dramatic enough. At least it got shown though. Blimey.

Awesome (Snape's death, John Williams, cinematography, Alan Rickman, McGonagall):

Alright. The cinematography was awesome. I loved it. Big shots, dramatic shots, sweeping shots--my only complaint is that they didn't do the sort of shot that had in the teaser posters. But aside from that, the shots were great, especially in that courtyard where, oh, well, everything happened. And the stairs--the first time we see them was great. The cinematography will most likely be up for an Oscar. Just saying.

McGonagall, oh how I love her. She was just...awesome. When she took on Severus, or when she enchanted Hogwarts, or "Boom"--NICE. She has always been one of the coolest characters both on screen and off and so to see them really make her significantly awesome was really good of them and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I cheered for her. (Mind, I cheered for like, half the film, but I cheered for Minerva McGonagall.)

Now, I don't know whether to talk about Snape's death or Alan Rickman because, while they may seen to be the same thing, I'm really talking about two different things. Let's go chronologically then, just to choose.

So, Snape's death. Yes, yes, yes, Alan Rickman was good. Great, whatever, wrong paragraph. This bit here is about how impressed I was with how they portrayed his death. It was graphic, queasy, vicious, and totally, perfectly evil. I am currently in the process of writing a book, and my villain is someone I need to nail because a story is only as good as its villain and so for Yeats to not only do Voldemort better than Rowling, but to make him really, completely evil and just, depraved in such a violent way is a very, very strong character choice--one that I not only enjoy, but whole heartedly endorse as a writer. It was stellar. Good bloody, pun intended, job, Yeats--good job.

Now, Rickman. So, more confession time: I love Alan Rickman. He's great, but I would not have cast him as Snape. He's both too old and does not show enough emotion with his voice. He vocalizes a lot of emotion, but he doesn't show it; however, when he broke down in the Pensive scenes, I teared up. It killed me a little bit when he showed that level of pain. It was excellent. Very excellent. Another good job, sir. Good job.

And so now we come to what, after the scene with the three good Mauraders and Lily, made me cry the most: John Williams's music. Now, I liked the music. It was good. I was unhappy that the movie didn't open with "Hedwig's Theme"--bad move. But when it ended with the music that ended movie one--I cried. Again. A lot. As a musician, a Harry Potter fan, a movie lover, and an English major who appreciates it when a storyteller goes full circle, and a John Williams's fan it was perhaps the best choice in the whole movie for me because it brought it all back to the very beginning when I was just nine. I still remember when I first read the book and so for them to bring back Williams's musical cue redeemed all the problems in the movie for me.

That being said, I'm not going to just wrap up like I normally do. Why? Because I can look analytically at the movie all I want and discuss it from this, that, and the other point, but it doesn't do justice to how I feel  about the film.

I remember walking into the theater at about 11:30 PM Thursday night, dressed as Narcissa Malfoy, tired, slightly annoyed, and very ready for Harry Potter to be done with. I have read the books, seen the movies, listened to the scores, read fan fiction, written fan fiction, drawn characters, done a podcast, written music to the book, gone to midnight events for both the books and films, dressed up, cried--I was a die-hard Harry Potter fan to say the least. (Blimey, that's bloody sad.) But I was past it all, done with the madness, ready for the insanity to be done with, but after seeing the eighth movie, I remembered what I loved about it and I know that while I may be past it, while I may be done with it, and while I an still exceedingly glad for it all to be ended, Harry Potter will still have a special place in my heart, but it is done. It was a good time that I am glad to be done with and to move past, but I enjoyed movie eight a lot. I cried a number of times and practically sobbed aloud a times.

So let us raise a glass one last time to Harry Potter, the boy who lived.

"Transformers 3" Review

Spoilers. Yeah. LOTS of them. I mean, just close the window, like, right now.

So, as I’m watching the latest and greatest Michael Bay explosion spectacular with one of my best friends and as we continue through the fog of computer simulated war I can’t help but think that there are so many great ways to open up this review. I could open with Leonard Nemoy as a baddie – when did this happen? Are you out of your Vulcan mind? – or how I felt like standing up mid-film and saluting – so much…Americaness! – or how awesome the robot fights were – dude, DUDE, I will cover how awesome they were later because I can’t do it in this little opening bit – or, one of my personal favorites, how very, VERY, VEEERRY sexy the sound of the Ferrari 458 Italia is. Yes, I could have opened up with any one of those, but instead I will start out saying this:

Oh, McVillain, or the artist formerly known as McDreamy. I must say: I was pleasantly surprised when I realized that Patrick Dempsey wasn’t just Sam’s rival, but a minor baddie. He wasn’t just some annoying creep that was hitting on Sam’s new girl, but a real, live, actual bad guy in the movie that had to be dealt with! I mean, he enabled the Decepticons to destroy Chicago in their plot! Brilliant! Who knew that McDreamy could become McBaddie? I LOVED it. I loved him. Bad, but still quite sexy. Ah, Patrick Dempsey, what shall we do with you?

The being said, let me try to sum up this movie before getting into specifics. It was, in the truest, most honest, all-encompassing way possible, epic. It was classic Michael Bay. No, it was more than that—it was Michael Bay at his over-the-top finest! I don’t even want to THINK about the budget for special effects that Bay had. Honestly, I’m sure that he could have funded at least two other films on that budget alone. Okay. I exaggerate, but not by that much. Long story short, when Michael Bay said that it was not his intent to make this last movie bigger than the last—he was right. It WAS his intention to make this movie bigger and more spectacular than any movie ever made and I must say that he must have made the top 5. Top 10 if nothing else because this movie was just—

BOOMEXPLODEWOOSHVROOOMBOOMAWESOMEBOOMEPIC.

Yeah. That about sums it up.

The good (McBaddie, Sam Whitwicky, the new chick, music, Leonard Nemoy, deaths), the bad (tertiary characters, physics, the moon), and the awesome (Conspiracy theories! Robots! Robot fights! Cinematography! Cars!).

Blast you, Michael Bay. You simply created too much for me to talk about!

The Good:

So, I remembered reading that Patrick Dempsey was in the film as some boss/dad/character guy and when I see him at the start of the film I'm thinking that he's going to be some sort of rival or minor annoyance, but when he comes out mid-film as working for the Decepticons, threatens the girl, slaps Sam (really? Slaps? I would have had him slug him.), and reveals just how devious he is--I was impressed and surprised. I hadn't see that coming. At all. Mind you, I wasn't looking for it or anything like it in this movie. Betrayals are things I'm not looking for in a Michael Bay movie, but I am pleasantly surprised when I find them. He then turned into a self-serving, silly dork who got a little whiny and a little slimy. Meh. But even so, I liked him and enjoyed his debut  as a bad guy. Very good, McDreamy. Keep the villainy coming, sir. 

I liked Sam. I know that Shia LaBeouf isn't a great actor, but I liked him. He was touching, funny, snarky, cute, and a bit more...edgy, darker, feistier than before. I mean, he killed McDreamy! He hit him over the head with a pole! He took on a commando and almost pinned him! Seriously. I thought it was great. He is a fun character to watch and he grew up a bit in this movie. He was older. There was one shot mid-film where he literally aged 10 years. I'll get to that in "The Awesome." Still, despite the fact that he aged, he was still wonderfully funny and a tad dorky. The bit where Bumblebee transforms with him and in it and then re-transforms around him ending with Sam sitting back in the Camaro--genius. So terribly funny. 

So, as you may have noticed, Megan Fox is not in this movie. Oh, go cry me a river fan-boys. I like that she's not in it. I like the new one. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley as Carly was a great choice. I just looked her up on Wiki to get the name right (honestly, her name isn't quite as short or memorable as "Megan Fox") and realized that she was a Victoria Secret model. That's where she looked familiar from. That being said, all of the men who saw this film shouldn't be too disappointed that Megan Fox is gone. Oh darn. You got a Victoria Secret model replacing this chick with poofy lips. I feel so bad for you boys. All us girls get is Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and McDreamy--what am I saying. Us girls got it made in this movie too. Enough about the superficial looks of this girl, let's actually talk about her character and acting. So, I wasn't actually too disappointed by her acting. So she won't win an Oscar, but no one in this movie will. I'm not looking for stellar acting in a Michael Bay movie; her acting wasn't horrendous. My only complaint really is that every time Bay got in for a close up she pouted her lips. A lot. It was annoying. Also, her character, Carly, is quite annoying. The fate of the world is in the balance, McDreamy is threatening to kill her is order to get Sam to betray his friends and what does she do? She begs Sam to save her. Really? You're more important than the world? I mean, he was going to save you anyway, so why bother asking. At least look like a hero and tell your boyfriend to do the right thing. Sigh. 

The music. I liked it. It was big, bombastic, a in keeping with the other movies. Mind though, I heard "Inception." The scene where the massive snake, monster thing is taking out the building that heroes are in totally sounded like the "Mombasa Suite" from Zimmer's "Inception." There were also a lot of foghorns. No matter. It was partially the music in this film that had me wanted to stand up and salute the flag. Heh. 

Now to what will be the logic section of the review. Just kidding. This is just the Leonard Nemoy paragraph. I loved him. My jaw dropped massively when he turned. It was one of those "OHMAHGAWSH, WHAT THE CRAP?!" sort of moments, if I may wax eloquent for a moment. Again, I'm not looking for this sort of stuff in a Michael Bay film, but I liked it. I also enjoyed  the"Star Trek" moments. "Amok Time" in the beginning (I only know that because I stayed to watch the credits!) and Sentinel Prime (ooh, quick question, wouldn't Optimus Prime be high ranking than Sentinel Prime? Forgive me, four years of Latin does that to people) quoting Spock. Yes. I rolled by eyes at the last one, but yes, I did laugh too. Leonard Nemoy as a bad guy is great. It was an interesting choice for him and it's one that I like it. 

So, a LOT of people died. Not just Ironhide ( I know, right?!), but a lot of people. It was dark. And the way they died. The weren't just shot, but sort of exploded and vaporized. It was...dark. Unexpectedly so and I was happily surprised by it. I also was surprised that Sam killed McDreamy. Very surprising. And then that Optimus killed Sentinel like that was surprising. I wouldn't have done that. I like my heroes a bit more noble, but it wasn't a bad move. A bold one, for sure, but a decent one. Good job, Michael Bay. 

The Bad:

Now, I usually go in the order from above, but I won't because  I'll have my least favorite part, the tertiary characters, for last. That being said, I think that Michael Bay may or may not ask God to suspend the laws of physics for him because he clearly either ignores them, thinks they don't exist, or think that don't apply to him, which, it would seem, they don't. And as much as I like a good action flick, I like some consistency more. The physics of this movie don't work. The gravity on the moon changed depending on the shot and I'm not sure, but I think that if a planet were to suddenly appear that close to earth, the gravitational situation of the planet would change drastically. Also. How and why do all the Decepticons get transported back to Cybertron after it's sort of, not really destroyed? Moreover, what happens to Cybertron? Does it just sit there? does it fall out of the sky? What? 

Actually, that covers both physics and the moon. On to the tertiary characters. Now, I'm not talking about the soldiers. Noooo. I am talking about Simmons, Wang, and the mother. You know when something happens and you sort of tense up? You become ridged and come close to seeing red? You feel like killing something maybe? Yeah. Every time either of those three characters opened their mouths or even existed--twitch. I feel a little bad, but when Wang died, I was...relieved. The tertiary characters were terribly annoying and unbearable. The movie would have been better without them.

The Awesome:

Conspiracy theories! Robot fights! Robots! Cinematography! Cars!

Anyone who appreciates a good conspiracy theory will just love this movie. Instead of going with the clichés of Area 51, Michael Bay went with another conspiracy theory, but one not as widely done in film: the moon landing. To top it off, he went to Chernobyl. Yep. According to the film, both as just cover-ups for alien tech and it’s wonderful. What’s better is that they got Buzz Aldrin to be in it! How crazy awesome is that? He actually chats with Optimus Prime. Yes, please.

Alright, let’s be honest. “Transformers” is known for three things: hot girls, hot cars, and epic robots. Two of them fall into the awesome category for good reason. So, let’s chat robots. If it’s possible, and I think it is, the robots were actually more awesome than in the last two movies. The moments when they transformed were focused on too much, over done, and the slow motion was a bit of over-kill on Bay’s part. But am I complaining? NO. It was AWESOME. Every time they transformed it was amazing—truly cool. I almost wish they’d done it more. And when they transformed at high speeds with people in them—ah. Michael Bay. What are we going to do with you?

That being said, the fights were EPIC. Honestly, I loved it. Every second of the robot fights were high-adrenaline, crazy fun. Lots of explosions, bullets, punches, crazy weapons—it was sick. So sick, it may have been ill.

Now, the fights wouldn’t have worked as well if Michael Bay hadn’t been very good about his highly stylized, but very enjoyable cinematography. I love his work. Yes, yes, it’s very MTV; yes, yes, it’s not high art; yes, yes, it is crazy stylized, but I like it and I’ll stand by that. I love that he does long tracking shots in the fights, keeping up with the robots. Makes the fights that much cooler. And the crazy angled shots from below with the robots—I rather enjoy it. My favorite shot though was when the Autobots “leave” and the shuttle gets destroyed mid-take off. The shot of Sam as he’s watching the debris fall from the sky aged him a solid 10 years. The character grew up in the shot as he realizes what he needed to do. My friend also pointed out to me how the colors of the shot, it’s a movie shot tacking and panning left I think, go from orange to blue signifying defeat. It was very nice.

But you know what was nicer? The cars. Specifically the Ferrari 458 Italia. Confession: I am not usually one for Italian sports cars being a huge fan of  70s muscle and Audi; however, when that 458 started to run—ooh. Yeah. That noise should be illegal, it’s so sexy. Also, the Mercedes SLS AMG—a personal favorite. And the Corvette concept car? Now, I don’t really like Corvettes. The back end had always been a big…square for me, but this new one—man, I do like it. The cars in this film were sexy and amazing and I loved them. Yay for cars!

Overall, it was a fantastic movie. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Will it win any Oscars? I should hope that the effects would obliterate the competition into smithereens, so yeah. It’ll win an Oscar, but only for the technical stuff. Was the acting great? Meh. The storyline? Not bad, but not amazingly inspiring either. The music? Fitting. The casting? It’s the third one, you’re sort of stuck at this point, but the new guys were great. The editing? Mostly good. Some small problems with where people were looking, but still good. The lighting? Yeah, good. Techincally the movie works well (or perhaps we’re all too busy ogling to pretty robots to care)—regardless it’s a wonderfully fun movie that I recommend seeing.

Grade: A for Awesome

"Cars 2" Review

There's an old adage: "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Well, Pixar and John Lasseter I think have a different take on that saying. When life gives you lemons, make them the baddies and make another wonderful movie out of them." (Oh, right, spoilers! The lemons are the baddies.) Now, for those of you who don't live, eat, and breathe cars (no, not the movie, the machines) and think that when I say lemon I mean a fruit, let me explain: a lemon is a bad car. And not just a bar car, but an AWFUL car. The ones that break down all the time, can't go more than 20 miles without breaking down, why in the name of sanity did I buy this piece if rubbish car. You know the ones I'm talking about. That being explained, for people not car savvy, you'll still enjoy this movie. Yes, yes, some jokes and visual gags ("Big Bentley," car-goyles) may go over your head, but it is still an wonderful little movie.

So, I shall explain the good (cars, characters, Mater, Lightening), the bad (Allinol, Jason Issacs), and the awesome (Michael Caine, visuals, music, message).

The good:

Oh, Lewis Hamilton and Jeff Gordon. I love that they agreed to do this and be in the movie. I also loved all the cars, and the car jokes, and how all the buildings and landscape are car-like. I love all the Range Rovers protecting the Queen, all the Audis, the Lambos--love it. So many cars. It made me very happy. And the cinematography concerning the race scenes was excellent. I loved it.

The characters were also good. Fin McMissile was wonderfully Bond like. And Holly Shiftwell was fun. Luigi and Guido were wonderful too. The scene where Lightning and their dad chat while they fight over the girls is adorable. Guido was adorable anyway. “Peet stop.” Speaking of Italians--Francesco was arrogant, a touch annoying, and great. Loved him too.

Mater and Lightening--oh. I love them. They have a fun bromance. I love it. But before that, their fighting was brilliant. Good place to arc from for Lightening. And Mater’s arc into accepting who he is was great. The both of them were touching and funny. However, there  wasn’t enough Lightening. Really, there was too much Mater, not enough of any of the other characters. At least Mater was funny the whole time. Heh. The Japanese bathroom scene...aw, that’s jus’ too good.

The bad:

Okay. Now, I do like this movie. I really do, but--do you remember Abrams "Star Trek"? Remember the red matter? Remember how it was the mother of all plot holes? How it sounded great, but then you thought about it for five seconds and realized how weak it was? Yeah. Allinol is this movie's "red matter." It sounds really good. Renewable fuel source that has some little mirco particles that freak out when hit by an electro-magnetic ray gun that were discovered/made by a gas guzzler turned electric, and which is approved by Filmore, Lightning’s eco-friendly hippie van--sounds nice. It has a few issues though.

For starters it’s just gas with little micro-particles, something FIlmore would have known and not have kept quiet after he realized it in the beginning of the movie. Why wouldn’t he have said anything? Cos it would have been a massive conspiracy that a 60s/70s sort of hippie would have LOVED to expose.

Secondly, why wouldn’t the villain, who explained the micro-particle thing, have known about the fact that the Allinol is just gas? He would have said it when he  explained it to gloat or whatever.

Thirdly, the gas guzzler, Axelrod, looked like he was probably a Range Rover of sorts. That is NOT a lemon. So why would a non-lemon team up with lemons after discovering a renewable source of energy that would not only make him LOADS of money, BUT would make him the planet’s hero? Would he do it for more oil? Debatable, but I think not.

Lastly, the “independent” panel would have discovered why Allinol is. And if not them, someone would have. Honestly. You couldn’t keep that secret for that long. Basically, Allinol is one terribly massive plot hole.

Now, for my other problem: Jason Issacs. There simply wasn’t enough of him and his voice. Yeah. That’s really all I have to say about him. Oooh. Him and Bruce Campbell. Not enough of either of them. Alas.

The awesome:

Okay. Michael Caine. I love him. He’s great. I mean, he’s Michael Caine. Can he make a bad movie? No. No, he can’t. He’s entertaining, funny, smooth, and, as usual, a bit sexy. He’s sort of Bond. I love him. I really enjoyed his performance because it wasn’t just funny, but caring and genuine. Yay, Michael Caine!

Ah, the visuals. The opening scene is on the water and I was impressed right off the bat by Pixar. And it just kept getting better. The facial expressions, the eyes, the landscapes, the skys--it was all excellent and beautiful. I am always impressed by how much better the visuals get with each movie. I recently was watching “The Incredibles” and I couldn’t help but notice how much better the graphics have gotten. They came fairly close to being realistic. Stellar. They were dazzling really. I mean, they put a lot of effort into making everything looking very impressive and they succeeded. They captured the glitz and glamour of “Towkyo,” the class and charm of Monte Carl--I mean Porto Corsa, and the..Englishness of London. Good job, Pixar; good job.

And now we come to Michael Giacchino. Right from the get-go it was great. Very fast, very Bond, but...perhaps a bit too major. Too happy. I dunno. It didn’t have enough tension in the music. But I did like how he took that theme and messed with it using different instruments and different styles. Very clever, sir. I enjoyed it. I actually will by this score on iTunes. That’s how much I liked it. Mind you, I don’t purchase a whole ton of scores (I am a college student--what do you want from me?) when I can listen to them on YouTube, so for me to want to spend money on this score means something. Will it win an Oscar? Well, no. If It gets nominated I shall be pleasantly surprised. But I liked it.

My last “awesome” part is the message. I loved it. It was about the importance of friendship and loving people for who they actually are. Mater and Lightening are fighting because Mater is bumbling about, embarrassing Lightening and then he lost Lightening the race--sort of. Anyway, by the end, Lightening and Mater realize that friendship is very important and worth fighting for. Moreover, Mater gets a girlfriend who love him for who is, not what he looks like. Great morals--makes me happy.

So, overall, I liked it. It had good characters, dialogue, music, visuals--the works; everything except for a really well worked-out plot. That being said, go see it. Go see it without your kids if you want. You will laugh and appreciate the jokes even without them. It is a phenomenal movie with a great message about friendship and love that everyone will like.

Grade: A-

"Kung Fu Panda 2" Review

SKADOOSH.

That being said, what I say about the movie now, may or may not be what I'll say in the coming days. Why? Well, the more I think about the movie, the more it grows on me. So, we'll first go through stuff then the bad then the good  and then we'll wrap up.

The stuff: visuals, story, and acting.

So, after "How to Train Your Dragon" - one of my favorite movies EVER (no, but seriously, a serious contender for favorite movie of all time) - I expect nothing less than sheer brilliance from Dreamworks Animation in the visuals department. I'll really rave about the water visuals at the end, but I'll take this time to discuss the rest of them now.

I am thoroughly impressed with this film in how it looked. The hair was great, the details of the locations were great, the fire wasn't as good as I thought it would be (yeah, so I'm a critic), the  cannon/fireworks/weapon/thing was both cool and cartoony, the lighting was very good, and I loved the actual cartoon sequences. It looked really brilliant. Gary Oldman's character was done brilliantly. Loved him a lot. Also, Master Shi Fu was GREAT. Quite good. And I love the ladnscapes. Very nice. So, over all, visually, the movie was grand.

Story: Confession time. I walked in late. I missed the set up so I Wikied it and read about the Shen-kills-the-pandas bit. Also, more confessions: I Wikied the story a few weeks ago when I was trying to figure out what movie to see. That being said, I cannot accurately say whether the movie is truly predictable or not. I will say that it arced properly. Po lost heart at the right time, he discovered his destiny bit at the right time, he beat the villain, and then did it again at the right times. It was good. The "inner peace" thing moved a bit quickly and the whole bit with Tigris and the "hardcore" thing was under developed. Also, Po's parents being alive at the end--what? Nooo. No, no, no. That's...meh. And how Shen tried to convince Po that his parents didn't love him wasn't handled properly. Was it because, what Shen was projecting his problems onto Po and trying to break him? Or did the writers just do a shoddy job? Whatever. However, I LOVED Po's "dad"--the stork. I loved it. I almost cried. It was touching. Overall, the story was fun, not deep, but fun.

Acting: Well, there's not much to say. It was good. Nothing too terrible. Admittedly, Jack Black was a bit flat at times, but that's about it. Angelina Jolie was okay. Again, a bit flat, but not bad. Dustin Hoffman was great, Gary Oldman--well, I'll rave later. It wasn't bad. I wasn't  great, but it wasn't bad.

The bad: Let's talk dialogue.

So....yeah. Not great. In fact, it was a bit disappointing. It wasn't a very funny movie. I think I laughed more in "Super 8." It just wasn't...funny. Not even Jack Black was funny. The humor was just dumb. It wasn't very clever most of it; it was just stupid and ridiculous and ill-timed. That's not to say that their timing for delivery was off, but the timing of when the jokes were written. It was just...not great. The humor. Shen's dialogue was fine. Shi Fu's was fine, but Po's humor just wasn't great. I guess that my issue is not with the actual dialogue, but the humor. Meh.

The good: Let's talk music, water, and Gary Oldman.

Okay, so I have recently been on an anti-Zimmer kick. It's not a music problem per se, but more of a me-problem. Very complicated, don't ask. That being said, I still respect his music. He's very good even if he can't read music. He is still very good. Now, I LOVE John Powell. The "Dragon" score is amazing. I do cry on occasion when I listen to it. The song when Hiccup wakes up with the piano and the cello (sounds like a cello)--oh. Tears. But that's not what we're talking about. So when I remember that this is a Zimmer-Powell team-up, I'm thinking, "Brilliant. Zimmer's grandeur with Powell's depth--awesome." The score is not a deep as I would have made it though. Mind, that's just what I could hear while I'm watching the movie and I didn't notice the music a lot of the time; however, I liked it. It was big and bold and fun and Asian and grand! It was great! I would hear "Pirates" and, admittedly, "Dragon," but I can live with that. I liked it. I won't win an Oscar, but it was good.

Water. I mentioned this earlier when I talked visuals, but now I get to rave. The water was AWESOME. Now, for you who don't sit there watching the "how we made this" features on the DVDs like me, let me explain. Water is difficult. Let me reiterate: in a computer animated film, water is VERY difficult. "Finding Nemo" was just..goodness. In fact, they cut scenes in the "Incredibles" because of how difficult water is (the sequence when the plane went down). Now, I remember watching "Dragon" and seeing the water and thinking, "Nice. Verry nice, sirs." But in this movie I was impressed. Very impressed. How they dealt with the water on fur and clothing was great. And the reflections on the water were great. Loved it. I mean-YESSS. So. The water was, to use a phrase from a different film, "mint."

Now to Gary Oldman. Ah, Gary Oldman. So, his character was great. An unrelenting villain. No wishy-washy, "Oh, well, maybe I'll repent and turn good because my heart has been impacted by the goodness of the hero"--NO. "Happiness must be taken." BAM. Rubbish line, but great show of villainy. Love it. And his cool evilness. And that he is a peacock. YES. Visually, I love the red and the white and all the massive feathers. Excellent. Yeah, he got a bit kooky and crazy at the end, but he was great. And the accent--yes, please. His acting was, well, he;s Gary Oldman. It's difficult to go really wrong. I loved Gary Oldman--he was WONDERFUL.

In summation, visuals, story and acting: nice; dialogue/humor: meh--at best; and music, water, and Gary Oldman: great. It gets, well, see, here's the catch: when the movie ended I immediately thought, "meh. It gets a B." But now, I dunno. I mean, It's not an A. It's not THAT good. But I did like it. The more I think about it, the more I like it. Would I pay $7.50 to see it again? Well...no. Would I pay $3 to see it again? Well, maybe. So, I'm thinking, all things considered it gets a B+.

Also, I say again: SKADOOSH.

"Super 8" Review

So, I have a question for you: did you enjoy "Goonies"? Yes? Good. Brilliant. You'll love "Super 8." "Super 8" is essentially J.J. Abrams's homage to all things good about Spielberg. It's "Goonies," "Jaws," "Close Encounters," and "E.T." in one very fun, touching package.

Let's really try and dissect this though.

As per the usual Abrams film, it is technically quite good. I thought so anyway. (I am, however, a huge fan of Abrams.) Out of the box, the camera work if good. He draws your attention to what needs being drawn to while still have a lot of flair and style. It's not overly complicated, not overly artistic, but just comfortable. It's not spectacular, Oscar winning cinematography, but it is cleaner and overall, much better than "Star Trek."

Speaking of "Star Trek," let's talk lighting. Confession time: I like the lighting flairs in "Star Trek." I also think they were overused, but I liked the idea. That being said, they are still in "Super 8," but not to the ridiculous degree that they were in "Star Trek." The lighting most of the rest of the time is very natural and well done.

Continuing onward, let's talk effects. Mint. It was SO mint. The train crash was mint, Sebulba--I mean, the alien (heh) was mint, the little cubes were mint--SO MUCH MINT. (Also, I love that word and I shall endeavor to use it.) Are they flawless? Meh, I didn't notice anything really off, but that could be due to the fact that within 5 minutes of the movie, I was happily remembering my childhood watching "Goonies." I liked them. Will they win an Oscar for it? Well, it's hard to say. Nominated? Maybe? I mean, it was a story heavy film, not a special effects heavy film.

Let's see, what else. Let's talk about the train crash, if for no other reason that it was a major part of the film, and is an excellent way to discuss the film from basically all points (except the over arching story). First off, it starts off in the middle of  the kids movie ("Production value!"), which was a wonderful subplot of the movie and a lot of fun. That bit shows off everyone's acting skills. Even the crash and how the kids dealt with it afterwards showed that Abrams and his casting director did good choosing these kids. They're believable (even for most regular actors and not just for child actors), endearing, charming, and wonderfully cute when needed. The pyro--oh, he was too cute, reacting to the explosion not in horror, but in awe of how it happened. That leads me to writing. The dialogue was great. It had a bunch of language, but for me, while annoying, reminded me of "Goonies." It worked well for each character as well for each scene, never feeling too forced or too odd (well, unless it was meant to--this movie does have that awkward pre-teen crush subplot). It wasn't perfect, but it was good. It was, dare I say, mint. In the train crash all the dialogue brought out the characters that much more. The pyro freaking out about how cool the explosion was, the director worrying about his camera, the girl worrying about the blood, and our main character trying to reassure her, explaining that it's not blood, but his stage make-up. Very good. The special effects in the train crash were---over the top and unrealistic. Not the point at all. (Okay, okay, yes, it's a point, but I liked it, I guess.) The scene after the train finishing crashing, the one with the fire and all that, was, okay, not perfect. The lighting felt a bit forced at times, but it was still not bad. The way it was shot too was, well, it didn't feel realistic. I kept thinking that they were on a sound stage somewhere, how it was done. So, it wasn't perfect, but it wasn't bad. Let's see what else about that scene. Oh. The old black guy in the truck. I jumped when he moved. I'll admit that I jumped a few times in the movie, if for no other reason that I was waiting for it. That's all I can think of in that scene to talk about to be honest. I mean, it's been a few days since I saw the movie, so cut me some slack. Heh.

Okay, let's talk story. J.J. Abrams, who also wrote the film, did a good job keeping you in the dark about the kid's mom and what happened with her. He let the mystery of the unfold naturally. That being said, the jerk dad who is sort of responsible was...lame and not good enough. Also, the main kid's dad was too easily convinced to forgive him. Granted, this isn't some grand narrative that is character driven, meant to tell a story of love and redemption, so I can't really complain. The zombie film subplot was also well done, driving some of the kids relationships as well as creating conflict for them that needed to be and was resolved. The romantic subplot was cute and had a seriously, awkwardly "Goonie" vibe, but in a great way. It was cute. I loved it. Now, the overarching alien plot was good. I mean, I know that for me, "Indy 4" murdered government-cover-up-of-aliens plots for me, and I am exceedingly pleased that Area 51 was not mentioned. Even so, something didn't sit well with me about the alien thing. I still liked it though. It still unfolded well. Abrams still got to talk love and forgiveness, which I love. Granted, the scene with the kid and the alien in the tunnel where he tell him that bad stuff still happens, but they we can still love was...a bit cheesy. I still liked it. (Mind, I was sitting there watching the movie feeling like a little kid again, so my opinion is  a bit skewed.) Overall, I love the story. It flows well, it's touching, sweet, and easy to follow. No bizarre time-traveling issues, no Area 51, just a story about some kids, trying to make a movie while dealing with some seriously creepy issues in their small town.I loved it.

There was something else I wanted to mention. Oh. Right. Production value. I mean this two fold: 1. I LOVED the director kid. "Mint!" "Production Value!" He arced from the over-powering sort of controlling jerk into someone who cares and takes direction well. (Oh, also, I LOVED how he was about actors. If you've ever made a short film, or even a real one, you understand him.) 2. I don't know how J.J. Abrams did it, but somehow he managed to get all the best views of the sky in West Virginia. It was beautiful. Production value!

Now we come to the music. I knew it was Giacchino because I knew it was Abrams (I'm getting a sort of Spielberg-Williams vibe with them; that being said, Giacchino has a VERY long way to go before he gets that good), but even if I hadn't--10 seconds in, I kid you not, you knew who was composing. He did a good job. I mean, I didn't walk out humming the theme, but I didn't notice it in the film, which, in film, is usually a good thing. If you notice something in a film, if something stands out to you in a film, good of bad, and if you are NOT looking for it, nor have you been trained to look for it, then something is wrong.Generally speaking. (Exceptions being things like 90% of the shots in "Lord of the Rings.") I liked the score. It was a bit...well, perhaps out of place at the very end, but I liked it.

So, over all, it was wonderful. I say again, if you liked "Goonies," you will love this film.

"Pirates 4" Review

I love Jack Sparrow---let me make that clear. He's one of my favorite hero-esque characters of all times. I mean, honestl--nah, I won't start that. But this movie...meh. I mean, it had really, truly funny moments, some great Jack lines, cute guys (hey, I'm a girl, but I will be fair--Penelope Cruz was beautiful), great sword fights, but--it wasn't really brilliant as a whole. Let me elaborate:

It was slow. It took too long to get going. And as much as I love Jack's antics--they were too silly. Too much like movies 2 and 3 and not enough like movie 1. Mind you, some of his antics were exceedingly clever, but the story sort of plodded along. It took too long to get to Florida and then the mermaids took way too long and then getting to the fountain was a bit long--it just plodded. I started writing this review in my head during the movie and actually re-did my hair once while fixing it for about 1/4 of the movie. Moreover, they had too many characters. I mean, the priest was cute, but what was the point in him? The mermaid? Honestly, they could have used the mermaid without him and without making underdeveloped religious comments through two underdeveloped characters who you don't really care about. And then there was Scrum, the dumb pirate who was supposed to be the new Pintel and Ragetti ("Here, poppet. We know you're 'ere, poppet.") who wasn't really funny and was really stupid. The real shame is that the other characters, Barbossa, Jack, and Angelica (Cruz) were not as deep as they should have been. I mean, they had some great opportunities at the end to get really personal and emotional, but they didn't. At all. Basically, there were too many characters and too much plodding. Also, the lighting sucked.

Let's see...the movie was also really dark. And I don't mean lighting. There was a voodoo doll, lots of deaths (and I don't mean just stabbing someone during a fight), sacrifices, brutal murders, magic--it was just darker than expected. Darker than the first three.

Also, the music. Unimpressed. I love that Eric Whitacre was involved, but if the music wasn't directly from the other three movies, it was a remix. No new themes that I could detect, just theme and variation. Now, while I do like the variations (they really are pretty neat) I just expected more. At least ONE new theme. Preferably two or thee. Even in "Mermaids," the track that Whitacre helped with, I could hear part of "At World's End" from the third movie. It's truly annoying.

That all being said, it had some great moments. Barbossa was great, as usual, the sword fighting was really entertaining, all the fight scenes were great and funny, and there were quite a few references to the other movies and the ride. My favorite was that Ponce de Leon's room was the room from the ride, the one with all the treasure. Stellar. The Revenge was a fairly cool, okay, very cool, ship, and the idea of ships in a bottle was very neat. And admittedly, I wasn't annoyed that Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane were in this. They were surprisingly good. McShane played a farily evil and cruel bad guy. I mean, he wasn't totally villainous, but he was a bit scary. I liked him.

I really don't have much more to say. The visuals were good, Gibbs was funny, the Spanish was awesome, the Fountain was very interesting--it wasn't bad. I wouldn't recommend seeing it in 3D or IMAX, but I'd wait till it comes to your local discount theater. Fun, but not totally great.

Grade: B

Movie Review: Thor

So I literally just saw the movie not 20 minutes ago. I figure now is the best time to get out my thoughts.

I'll start with the good, end with the bad, and then with some good. Fair?

Alright, casting. Great. Really wonderful. Chris Hemsworth (Thor) was great. Suitably arrogant in the beginning, and then wonderfully changed at the end. Emotional, real, charming, and drop dead gorgeous. Let me continue with the good-looking men. Tom Hiddleston (Loki) was brilliant. His acting was spot on. AND he's a Shakespearian actor. That's perfect. I didn't actually want him to be the bad guy. He was just too...charming, but in a quite way. I liked him. AND he was cute. Again, in a quite, charming way. I felt bad for him, like I was supposed to. And the end--oh, SO  good. Yes, BOTH endings. Let's see, who else. Oh. Natalie Portman. Yes, yes, she's beautiful, and funny, and cute, and entertaining. That's it. Very, meh. I mean, I liked her, but I wasn't as impressed as I was with Hiddleston and Hemsworth. I did like Stellan Skarsgard (Dr. Selvig) though. He was good. Nothing truly spectacular, but nonchalantly great. Anthony Hopkins (Odin) was also great. I mean, this was no "Silence of the Lambs," but he did his job well nonetheless and was likable.

Moving on. The visual effects were excellent. Asgard was stunning. It was a great blend of old Norse and shiny sci-fi. I really enjoyed it, especially with the cosmos as the sky--great. And the Bridge (both the physical one and the dimensional one) looking great. The physical one was both tech and crystal. Nice combo. The dimensional one was also cool. It wasn't cheesy or overly dramatic, just appropriately flashy and instantaneous. Jotunheim was also very cool (non pun intended). It was perfectly evil and cold, as were the Giants. Loved them too (props to makeup). The battle sequences were also nice. The rigging guys did a nice job. (Okay, so you KNEW they were on rigging, but you didn't care. I guess that bravo goes to everyone else then.)

Costumes/Make-up/Hair: Clean. Very clean. Not too old Norse, but not to over the top. I liked it. Thor's red vs. Loki's green played VERY nicely. (A small side note that Chris Hemsworth also looked amazing in the tee-shirt and jeans (or just jeans). Heh heh.) I really did like the Norse costumes though. The hair was fun too. Thor was scruffy, but not too scruffy. He was sort of...awesome. Loki's hair was appropriately slicked back, but not overly greasy. Nice distinction that I appreciate. Fandral (the blond friend of Thor) had very fun hair and a fun mustache. I enjoyed how...perfect it was. The whole time. Perfect. (He too was cute.) Let me get to the make-up. Now, I wouldn't mention it unless it was either spectacular or terrible. The Giants had great make-up. But Thor...yeah, if I can notice that he's wearing mascara, that's an issue.

What else? Oh. Story. I liked it. From the beginning, you knew that Loki was the bad guy, but the writers let you hope that the second son, the cute, quite one, might not be evil. Then they dashed those hopes and make him a nice bad guy. Even better, he was a bad guy for the right reasons. I like that. But back to the plot--it was good. I really enjoyed it. Not too complicated, but good. The romance was cute and fun. I liked how dashing and how much of a charmer Thor was. Very attractive. Heh. SHIELD was also good. A bit evil and very "big-nasty-government," but good.

Now, the first thing I notice is the cinematography. Ick. I mean, I like fun shots as much as the next gal, but an entire movie of angled shots that cut off body parts, or shots that are too close, or simply ill framed? Gah. Kill me now. That's not to say that it was all bad. There were a few good shots. Some of the ones of Asgard were nice. Um...yeah. It was all pretty nasty.

What else was bad. Ooh. The music. Now, I am a musician. I was going to be a music major. I listen to film scores most of the time. I love music--it's one of the most wonderful things God created, but honest to goodness, Imma' kill Patrick Doyle. The music was just really bad. I mean awful. And that comes from me after I didn't expect much! Let's be honest. Superhero films are not known for their music (by their music, yes, but no one walks into a superhero film expecting an inspiring, prolific, Oscar winning score. Let's leave that to the artsy films and epics, shall we?), but this score was exceptionally bad. Doyle had happy music in sad places and in big, swelling dramatic places. Sure, most of the time I didn't notice the music and was quite pleased not to, but when I did notice it, it was bad. The effect is supposed to be the opposite! Especially in the big battle scenes or the really dramatic emotional ones. His chord progressions were rubbish. Honestly. Doyle--disappointed, sir. VERY disappointed. Why Kenneth Branagh chose him is beyond me.

Speaking of Kennith Branagh...the movie as a whole wasn't bad. I actually loved it despite my serious and grievous complaints. He made it funny, heart warming, and interesting despite the fact that looking back on it, it was a tad slow. Meh. No matter. Loved it. I plan on owning it, I liked it that much. Go. See it. Enjoy it.

Grade: A